Uncertain is Frightening

Damn hip is fracturing again. The slight nagging pain got to be enough of a problem to get it xrayed after this week's chemo. We barely got home when we got a call from our oncologist. Hairline fractures are showing up in Karen's right socket area. She's been spared spontaneous breaks for over six months. The combination of the chemo (Taxol) and Xgeva have been working.
Now, for some reason there is new uncertainty in our lives. Uncertainty is frightening. We don't know what the next steps will be; that is beyond referral to a specialist, and hints of surgeries to pre-empt a hip fracture.  
Uncertain about the chemo; has it stopped working?
The uncertainty will probably go on for several weeks as appointments are scheduled, tests and imaging scheduled and read. It all moves like a glacier when you want speed, options, answers and relief. 
Karen has been upbeat in general despite the dire nature of her diagnosis. The setbacks are expected but they seem to flair up just when we dare to think we might make plans for the future...even a month in the future.
The saddest thing is with each new uncertainty there is a point where we move from shock to  profound sadness and all we can do is have a cry together. The tears flow and then we move on with life. We're already doing all we can do.
                                       photo..stock image..just another place the cancer is destroying. 

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