Days of Malaise

    Dictionary definition of malaise; a general feeling of discomfort, illness, or uneasiness whose exact cause is difficult to identify. Continued from last week. Karen's in the middle of something that's difficult to find solutions to. Apparently it's either/or. Either the chemo is making her sick or the chemo isn't working and the cancer is making her sick. I suppose she could be coming down with an illness but it seems like that would have manifested with a fever or some other symptom. Fatigue, insomnia, loss of appetite and difficulty breathing are present yet oxygen levels are good and no other symptoms such as fever are present. Nurses and Doctors all consulted. Tests administered.
    Caregiver misgivings all around. I can't believe that I can't make her more comfortable although I understand that without a spouse or other home caregiver her life could be much harder. 
     We were interviewed on Friday about a piece of art we collaborated on that will be in an exhibit about cancer in April. One thing that Karen mentioned was how the cancer was working on  us both . Differently, because hers is physical and mine is mental.  
    Perhaps this will pass; best case, it's a manifestation of the chemo working. PET scan coming up mid April so we'll just have soldier on until we learn more.

Photo - William Evertson - 2008 digital collage, "Malaise"

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