Cancer is confusing. Caregiving is confusing. Karen and I are both in unfamiliar territory.
Territories in which there are no maps. There are some guides that have traveled some of the terrain but this path is unique and as such we don't know what is around any damn corner.
Our new chemo drug is infused once a month and Karen has had one dose of it. She was supposed to get a second this past Thursday but a blizzard intervened. She's been rescheduled for this coming Tuesday.
It also meant that her visiting nurses did a phone in check up instead of the home visit.
It all happened to coincide with a series of odd symptoms that while not emergencies I'm nervous about. There is some nausea which shouldn't be present so far from the last treatment.
Is it the cancer? The fact that the liver is now involved?
Breathing is becoming a bit more difficult so it's time to schedule another thoracentesis and have some fluid drained off. Disappointing because that had stabilized slightly and she's gone bit longer without that particular treatment.
Finally her sleeping has gotten much worse over the last couple of weeks. Karen's had so much trouble getting to sleep that it was recommended that we add a sleep aid. We tried Lorazepam since she takes that as a sedative before thoracentesis.
I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing but after a week I had to pull the plug on that drug. Karen was having a strange type of sleepwalking; getting out of bed and just moving to a different room insisting that it was morning. With her fragile hip I can't leave her on her own and yet I need sleep too.
Damn confusing. Eventually, Karen would sleep but it would be from about 4am to 10am. Additionally during the rest of the day residual symptoms of confusion and aphasia were present.
Doctor appointment and possible chemo this Tuesday and probably a home nurse follow up Wednesday or Thursday. I hope we can get some guidance although again this is unique and uncharted.
Usually I try to finish a post with some of the positive energy that's gotten us through the week but this really isn't the movies where cancer has a metaphysical silver lining.
I hope this week becomes less fraught with worry and Karens sleep can get back to normal.
I know I need some as well.
Photo - William Evertson - Selfie... Karen with Bill in car window
William and Karen - Karen and I have been married for 41 years. Karen's breast cancer has reached stage 4. This is what happens next.